After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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