u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
