omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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