It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
