we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
