Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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