Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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