i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
