ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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