I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
