i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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