Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You pole danced in your parka.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
