Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
