he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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