Sry I called you an 8
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
