Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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