How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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