Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
