My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
