I love black thongs
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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