when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
