So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
