After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How external is "for external use only"?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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