Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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