We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
