I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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