He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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