If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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