Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Screwed.edu
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
