Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
