Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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