before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
