gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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