addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
