Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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