Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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