I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
