apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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