Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I need to align my fucking chakras
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
