You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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