don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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