My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
