pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
