thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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