it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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