I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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