Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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