I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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