weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
