I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
