come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
