Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
