I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
